Organiser Girl

I have been doing some creative writing in my spare time to keep my mind active. Here’s something that I wrote on August the 20th.

Big droplets of water splash off the large green leaves of the plant outside my bedroom window.

It’s hot in here. The rain has cooled the air outside, but it’s still so warm inside. My skin feels clammy, sticky with sweat from the day. The curtains are open to let the breeze in. It’s wishful thinking, as there’s no movement of air.

As I lie in bed and wait for it to cool down, I munch on the dried fruit and nuts from my muesli. There are ants in the muesli. Tiny brown ants, much smaller than the ants that got into food in my kitchen in Australia. I think I may have eaten a few ants, they didn’t taste too bad. The ants have realised that there’s nothing sweet left in the muesli so they’re moving on. Marching out of the plastic container and across the bed.

Isn’t it funny how you never really screamed at my face,
but your anger so unspoken and unchannelled
permeates my essence to the point where I,
Don’t want to see you hear you, be anywhere near you,
you probably think I’m threatened by you
but your illusionary power doesn’t threaten me,
Actually I think it’s kind of funny that you create an illusion that is a mirror,
I don’t appreciate you and I know that that surprises you
I suppose you see that those who follow their heart always win,
those with integrity have won the match before it’s begun

So rather than being kicked around, I’m going to kick you to the curb
So rather than being pushed around, I’m going to push you away first
So rather than trying to protect you, I’m going to cover my bases first
So rather than trying to open my heart, I’m going to lock it with a key
So that only the special ones, so that only the special ones, can ever get through to me

Some can see beyond the barrier of threshold whereas others can’t see beyond their sculptured mould,
you could offer me nothing, you could offer me nothing that I need
Do you think I’m asking too much?
A kind of respect and trust that shouldn’t even be questioned,
how can I open my heart with dishonesty sitting next to me?
I’ve honoured your honour to the point of embarrassment,
but innocence in the hands of the guilt-free is kicked to, is kicked to the curb
I was ashamed of my innocence,
I was ashamed of my innocence but now with clarity I see that your bullshit is just not worthy of me

So rather than being kicked around, I’m going to kick you to the curb
So rather than being pushed around, I’m going to push you away first
So rather than trying to protect you, I’m going to cover my bases first
So rather than trying to open my heart, I’m going to lock it with a key
So that only the special ones, so that only the special ones, can ever get through to me

I don’t want to be angry.
I don’t want to be angry.
I don’t want to be angry.
I don’t want to be angry.

This is not worthy of me
and now with clarity I see
that I can walk away,
I can walk away

but not right now.

A while ago Mum suggested I should find a book called “Not meeting Mr Right” by Anita Heiss. I’ve had this written down on a post-it-note for several months now. So here is a slightly more permanent reminder for me to track this book down. Anita Heiss is an Australian author. I don’t know much more about here right now, but I’d be interested in reading her book.

on an adventure
not sure where it will lead me
take a risk with life

Memory

by Lois McMaster Bujold

Someone I know lent me this, but I don’t know who. If you lent me this book, please let me know! I’m enjoying reading it, but why didn’t you lend me number one first?

See more about Memory

I got tagged by it’s about time’s Romana to list five of my favourite quotes…. that’s a tough one.

From a film on my list of 5 favourite films:

“Look man, I’m telling you right off the bat I’m high maintenance”
Clementine, from the film Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind

From Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland:

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.“

From the Princess Bride (another film on my favourite 5 list)

“He’s not dead, he’s just mostly dead “

A poem by the character Asher in Bridget Lowry’s novel Guitar Highway Rose

travelling the white line
into the night
gypsy blues…
…lonesome midnight adventure blues
destination anywhere
travelling the white line
into the night
…
into freedom

I’m going to have to come back to quote number 5…..

I tag Captain Doobie at The Impertinance of It All and Pippa at battlecat.net